14/15 Fantasy Premier League: Week 6 Recap


Another tumultuous week for the Arsenal (@Arsenal).

The latest installment of the North London derby ended in a 1-1 stalemate.

After a goalless first half, Tottenham (@SpursOfficial) took advantage of some sloppy Arsenal defense to open the scoring about 10 minutes into the second.

Thankfully, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (@Alex_OxChambo) was able to equalize roughly 20 minutes later in order to salvage the point.

Curiously, the Ox started ahead of new signing, Alexis Sánchez (@Alexis_Sanchez).

With Alexis¬†now having not made the starting XI for two consecutive¬†Premier League¬†(@premierleague) starts, word is emerging that he has been dropped by Wenger for disrupting Arsenal’s style.

While I would say it’s true that Alexis likes to hug the ball a bit more than the average Gunner, I’m not sure it’s fair to say he slows down the team as his pace can be electric.

If anything, he seems to have an advanced ability to draw players away from their markers in order to free up the pass.

But I digress.

The Danny Welbeck buy may have allowed Wenger to avoid forcing Alexis to play through the middle but there is no reason to assume that the second-highest player purchase in club history is in danger of becoming the next Podolski (@Podolski10).

The derby also came with a dark side.

Wenger was forced to use two of his three substitutions before the half with both Mikel Arteta (@m8arteta) and Aaron Ramsey (@aaronramsey) leaving through injury.

The manager found the knocks to be curious given that both players were rested during the Capital One Cup (@CapitalOne_Cup).

Remember when Shad Forsythe was supposed to be our signing of the summer?

I know us Gooners are supposed to be familiar with extended layoffs due to injury – even expecting them at times – but this season began¬†with an outright crisis and it hasn’t seemed to let up yet.

The boss did, however, have some positive news for us today in regards to injuries:

I look forward to seeing what Theo Walcott (@theowalcott) can add to the side.

Serge Gnabry (@SergeGnabry) continues to be one of our more exciting young players.

Nevertheless, the focus now becomes Galatasaray (@GalatasaraySK) in tomorrow’s¬†Champions League¬†(@ChampionsLeague) fixture.

We need a top quality display after taking that drubbing from Borussia Dortmund (@BVB) to open up the group stage.


Onto the fantasy we go.

*     *     *     *     *



Overall Points: 314

Global: 147,155 (Last week: 237,170)
Fans of Arsenal: 6,751 (Last week: 11,725)
Canada: 1,422 (Last week: 2,278)

Private League I: 3/9 (5 points out of 1st)
Private League II: 2/13 (5 points out of 1st)
Private League III: 1/3 (58 points clear)

*     *     *     *     *



Total Points: 589

Global: ???
Fans of Arsenal: ???


Private League I: 2 / 6 (16 points out of 1st)

*     *     *     *     *

I have to thank Asmir Begovic (@asmir1) and Ryan Shawcross as the Stoke (@stokecity) clean sheet was what helped me to finish with an above-average week in the official game.

With Ramsey,¬†James Ward-Prowse (@Prowsey16), and¬†Yaya Sanogo (@Yayasanogoal22) all sidelined for significant periods, I’ll be tempted to use my wildcard prior to gameweek 7.

I was really hoping to hold onto the WC as long as possible this year but sometimes circumstances dictate the situation.

It’s still possible to play a full squad and keep my bench filled with all three injured options but I can’t afford to lose any ground at this early point in the season.

Decisions, decisions.

The Yahoo! game seems to be getting more difficult for me with each week.

The problem being that I have some marquee players being held at some serious cut-rate prices.. so making any significant changes to the squad has turned into a pretty serious quandary.

Now that his place in the XI may be temporarily jeopardized, do I drop Alexis Sánchez despite holding him at less than £5m?

I already know who I’ll be swapping Ramsey out for during his absence so I suppose not all is lost.

How about you? How are your teams looking through the first month and a half?

How did you make out in Gameweek 6???

14/15 Fantasy Premier League: Week 5 Recap

He's back.

He’s back.

That’s more like it.

After a poor week of football, Arsenal (@Arsenal) got back on track with a dominant 0-3 victory at Villa Park.

Answering his critics,¬†Mesut √Ėzil¬†(@MesutOzil1088) arrived on the pitch with what was arguably his best performance of the calendar year.

This is the type of performance that Gooners regularly expect of their £42M man and he will hopefully continue to be deployed in his preferred position through the middle.

Although chances were going each way, Arsenal looked shaky to start, failing to hit the target from several choice opportunities.

It took a massive save from¬†Wojciech Szczńôsny¬†(@13Szczesny13) on a Ciaran Clark (@C_Clark_6) header from close range to awaken the visiting side.

Shortly thereafter, the Gunners would net three goals in just a little over three minutes time.

√Ėzil¬†and new arrival¬†Danny Welbeck¬†each scored their first goals of the season while also assisting on each other’s markers.

An own goal from Aly Cissokho would seal the scoreline.

It was a great weekend of football in terms of results.

The quality was even better.

Liverpool (@LFC), Everton (@Everton), Tottenham (@SpursOfficial), and Manchester United (@ManUtd) each completed their fixtures without earning a point while Frank Lampard put away a late Man City (@MCFC) equaliser against his former side Chelsea (@chelseafc) for a storybook finish at the Etihad.

The United match against Leicester City (@OfficialFOXES) may be the game of the season thus far as the scrappy affair saw the Foxes claim a 5-3 victory after trailing 1-3 at the half.

o fux.

o fux.

In any case, it was just about a perfect weekend for those of you who understand that LONDON IS RED.



It’s fantasy time, baby.

*     *     *     *     *



Overall Points: 266

Global: 237,170 (Last week: 130,436)
Fans of Arsenal: 11,725 (Last week: 6,158)
Canada: 2,278 (Last week: 1,236)

Private League I: 3/9 (8 points out of 1st)
Private League II: 5/13 (10 points out of 1st)
Private League III: 1/3 (47 points clear)

*     *     *     *     *



Total Points: 498

Global: ???
Fans of Arsenal: ???

Private League I: 2 / 6 (2 points out of 1st)

*     *     *     *     *

Two season firsts for me this weekend:

  1. Finished below 50 gameweek points for the first time in the official game.
  2. Finished below 100 gameweek points for the first time in the Yahoo! game.
* Upon further inspection, I had forgotten that I finished week 1 in Yahoo! with 88 pts. Apologies.

Whenever I have an above-average weekend in fantasy, Murphy starts bashing me over the head with his rule of law and I typically come back down to Earth after the next set of fixtures.

It is always disappointing but I think a lot of managers struggled given the lackluster performances from the majority of the top teams.

In the Yahoo! game, investing in Spurs players definitely backfired on me.

Thankfully,¬†Thibaut Courtois (@thibautcourtois) didn’t have his best game so I was able to swap him back¬†in with little change to the discount I was originally holding him at.

Alexis Sánchez (@Alexis_Sanchez) was removed from the Arsenal XI at the last minute which brought in Martin Kelly (@MartinKelly1990) as my fantasy auto-sub. He did me well by putting up an assist as well as some much-needed phantom points.

I am averaging a touch less than 100pts/week in the Yahoo! game which is currently good enough to place me within the 99th percentile.

Oh, one more thing about Yahoo! and their incompetence: aside from the fact that I am STILL WAITING ON MY PREMIERSHIP TROPHIES FROM LAST SEASON, now they somehow managed to auto-opt me into their La Liga fantasy game.

First of all, I don’t watch La Liga so this wasn’t some accident on my part – I only noticed it by checking to see¬†if my trophies from last year had arrived!

I contacted their support and as usual, they spit out some variation of the same answer: “Our engineers are aware of the problem and are working to fix it. There is no timeline for resolution”.

Fucking bullshit.

Despite having zero players in this fake XI that I am only associated with by name, I somehow sit in the 57th overall percentile.

This leads me to believe I am not the only one who started playing this game without realizing it.


The official game was a bit of a disaster.

31 points is a pathetic tally for the week.

I knew captaining Diego Costa was a slight risk but I was unable to foresee a suitable alternative.

It sort of feels like he will be this year’s¬†Luis¬†Su√°rez¬†(@LuisSuarez9) in that he will always make you worry about what you could be missing out on if you don’t¬†captain him.

I definitely would not have considering giving the armband to a defensive player but my backline is where the majority of my points came from.

In fact, I left Jose Fonte on the bench and it is always a piss off to miss out on clean sheets, not to mention bonus points.

For the most part, my decisions have been sound so I can’t be too hard on myself. But the bench sure does complicate things.

I decided not to use a free transfer in gameweek 5 and perhaps that came back to bite me a little.

However, Coutinho (@Phil_Coutinho) has been rotting in my squad for weeks now and with two FTs saved up, I was finally able to rid myself of him before he loses even more of his value.

I really wanted (needed) to get¬†√Āngel Di Mar√≠a¬†into my side but I had to sell¬†Wayne Rooney (@WayneRooney) to free up the funds in order to do so.

So after upgrading my midfield, I replaced Wazza up top with Graziano Pellè (@GPelle19) who will hopefully continue with his devastating form.

The transfers left me with £1.9M in the bank which will be dedicated towards upgrading Yaya Sanogo (@Yayasanogoal22) as soon as possible.

What I originally thought would be a shrewd bench addition is looking¬†to be increasingly irrelevant – at this point, with Welbeck in,¬†Theo Walcott (@theowalcott) on the verge of returning, and Olivier¬†Giroud¬†(@_OlivierGiroud_) due back in the new year, I’m not sure we will even see Sanogo coming back into the squad this season.

The always affable Lukas Podolski (@Podolski10) is hoping to fight his way back into the XI.

And don’t forget,¬†Joel Campbell¬†(@joel_campbell12) waits in the wings.

Anyway, there is your early glimpse into my official team for gameweek 6.

Before signing off, surely many of you have heard about how Gervinho (@GervinhOfficial) is bossing it up in Roma (@OfficialASRoma) since leaving the Arsenal.

While I respect him for avoiding the Rooney highway to hairplugs, I do hope he never removes the headband again. Like, ever.


Jesus Christ.

I can say without hesitation that I would have a very difficult time coping with massive hair loss.

But I’m not tryna look like Devin Townsend¬†(@dvntownsend), either.


Gervinho’s lost brother in metal

Shave it, bro.

PS. The 2022 World Cup WILL NOT be Held in Qatar. This is good news for everyone.

How did you make out in Gameweek 5???

14/15 Fantasy Premier League: Week 4 Recap


It was a rough week for the Arsenal (@Arsenal), to say the least.

After having fought for the lead after being down 1-nil to Manchester City (@MCFC) last Saturday, the Gunners conceded an inexcusable late equaliser to miss out on finishing with the full three points.

The midweek match versus Borussia Dortmund (@BVB) was even worse.

There were zero positives to be taken from this one. We were a disaster.

Uhh.. Arteta???

Truth be told, after such a promising window, we have yet to look convincing this season.

Other unfortunate news:

Now we have to face a buzzing¬†Aston Villa (@AVFCOfficial) side away from home and it won’t be easy.

Not only do they currently sit second in the table but it’s no secret that assistant manager Roy Keane is always ready to have a go at Arsenal.

Let’s hope we¬†get ourselves sorted¬†immediately.



*     *     *     *     *



Overall Points: 235

Global: 130,436 (Last week: 315,954)
Fans of Arsenal: 6,158 (Last week: 17,765)
Canada: 1,236 (Last week: 3,984)

Private League I: 2/9 (8 points out of 1st)
Private League II: 3/13 (8 points out of 1st)
Private League III: 1/3 (49 points clear)

*     *     *     *     *



Total Points: 424

Global: ???
Fans of Arsenal: ???

Private League I: 1 / 6 (17 points clear)

*     *     *     *     *

Pretty good week for me in both formats.

If I were really thinking, I would have subbed in James Ward-Prowse (@Prowsey16) for Steven Caulker in the official game and that would have taken me up to an even 80 points on the week.

But I can’t be greedy.

Diego Costa proved to be the man in both formats this week and I was thankful to have went all in on him.

However, the Yahoo! game keeps telling me to bring Jack Rodwell (@JackRodwell) off the bench.

He continues to put up points and I have yet to actually benefit from them despite having him in my squad since the start of week one.

Speaking of Yahoo!, they have finally allowed us to view friends teams.

Global rankings coming soon?

In the upcoming set of Premier League (@premierleague) fixtures, Liverpool (@LFC), United (@ManUtd), Everton (@Everton), and Tottenham (@SpursOfficial) all look to be good fantasy bets.

How did you make out in Gameweek 4???

14/15 Fantasy Premier League: Week 3 Recap



Another summer transfer window comes and goes and Arsenal (@Arsenal) begins another campaign with several question marks surrounding their squad depth.

On the positive side, we acquired some desperately needed cover up top for the injured Olivier Giroud (@_OlivierGiroud_) by signing Danny Welbeck at the 11th hour.

Similar to how Mesut √Ėzil¬†(@MesutOzil1088) was made available subsequent to the¬†Real Madrid (@realmadrid) signing of Gareth Bale (@GarethBale11), Welbeck was snatched up upon¬†being deemed surplus to requirements at¬†United (@ManUtd) as they verged on¬†finalizing their (outrageous) deal with¬†Radamel Falcao (@FALCAO).

Although Welbz isn’t quite on par with some of the marquee players we¬†were being¬†linked with, he did provide¬†Gooners¬†with some positive reinforcement by bagging a brace for England¬†this past Monday in a Euro 2016 (@UEFAEURO) qualifier versus¬†Switzerland.

In any case, it was nice to see Arsène Wenger actually move for a natural centre-forward rather than attempting to convert another out-wide player. The striker position has been a contentious one at the Emirates since the departure of Robin van Persie (@Persie_Official).

And while Welbeck‘s¬†¬£16M move is Arsenal‘s third most expensive transfer in the history of the club, at 23 years old and on a five-year deal, it looks¬†like a comparative steal – especially when you consider that United themselves saw¬†no issue in¬†buying a fat unproven teenage defender for¬†¬£30M!


Of course, Louis van Gaal¬†couldn’t resist sending off his former player with an underhanded dig.

I can’t understand the logic in degrading someone like that on their way out.

Especially when supporters were already upset to see one of their favourites heading to a direct rival.

And especially when said player has given his life to the club since the age of eight! Eight years old, ferchrissakes!! In comparison to the few months tenure of LVG..

Speaking of van Gaal, obviously he has the superior pedigree (given that he has actually won things) but when compared¬†to his predecessor, David Moyes, I think the next biggest thing separating the two¬†is the former’s extreme sense of arrogance.

And then there is the spending.

LVG has spent an absolute fortune and while a lot of that money has yet to show up on the pitch, it’s fun bringing up that by this time last year,¬†Moyes had double the points of the current United side and his opening fixtures were much tougher.

It is “sink or swim” time at¬†Old Trafford.

Wage bills are skyrocketing and the strategy of the club seems to be growing more in line with the sugar daddy philosophies of Chelsea (@chelseafc) and Manchester City (@MCFC).

Even their massive upcoming 10-year / £750M kit deal with adidas (@adidas) will not provide a big enough safety net, for if they fail to qualify for the Champions League (@ChampionsLeague) for a second consecutive year, the deal is to be automatically slashed by at least 30%.

Tread carefully, United.

Although it would be a bit satisfying to see, it would also be somewhat disheartening to witness an institution like Man U going the way of Liverpool (@LFC) of the 1990s.

Nevertheless, back to Arsenal.

Per Mertesacker (@mertesacker) and Laurent Koscielny remain the only senior centre-backs in the squad.

Not good.

Does the boss really have that much faith in Calum Chambers (@CalumChambers95) already?

We also failed to add any steel through the middle of the pitch by acquiring a true DM.

Wenger¬†seems content to keep the diminutive and perpetually-falling¬†Jack Wilshere¬†(@JackWilshere) there while¬†waiting for the glue to dry on¬†Abou Diaby‘s¬†(@AbouVDIABY) papier-m√Ęch√© body.

Aaron Ramsey (@aaronramsey) picked up a knock playing for Wales and is questionable for this weekend.

But good news comes in knowing that Mikel Arteta (@m8arteta), Kieran Gibbs (@KieranGibbs), Theo Walcott (@theowalcott), and David Ospina (@D_Ospina1) all sound close to returning.

Should be a tough match facing Man City tomorrow for the early match.

Hopefully we can replicate our dominating performance at the recent Community Shield!



Now, let’s have a peek at last week’s fantasy.

*     *     *     *     *



Overall Points: 160

Global: 315,954 (Last week: 404,543)
Fans of Arsenal: 17,765 (Last week: 25,442)
Canada: 3,984 (Last week: 2,920)

Private League I: 2/9 (10 points out of 1st)
Private League II: 4/13 (15 points out of 1st)
Private League III: 1/3 (32 points clear)

*     *     *     *     *



Total Points: 302

Global: ???
Fans of Arsenal: ???

Private League I: 2 / 6 (3 pts out of 1st)

*     *     *     *     *

Steadily improving.

In the official game, I had a bit of luck on my side, as Chambers was awarded a clean sheet despite coming on for Koscielny and Yaya Sanogo (@Yayasanogoal22), who picked up an assist, was auto-subbed in for me due to Coutinho (@Phil_Coutinho) not playing.

I transferred out¬†Sturridge (@D_Sturridge) before the gameweek had concluded in order to bring in August’s Player of the Month,¬†Diego Costa. I had debated swapping out¬†Rooney¬†(@WayneRooney) instead but it worked out in the end as Sturridge has now been ruled out a minimum of three weeks.

The Yahoo! game was hit and miss. The strikers actually put some work in for me this time although bringing in Stevan Jovetic proved fruitless.

What really bothers me is that Yahoo!¬†continues to slack – still no global rank, still unable to see friends teams.. you know, I still haven’t even received my trophies from last year’s fantasy¬†Premier League¬†(@premierleague) season!


Can you believe that!?

Yahoo! is run by shit-birds.

How did you make out in Gameweek 3???

Grandpa and Grandmaster Flash

Grandma, is that you?

Grandma, is that you?

First off, I have to thank my good friend, Mr. @dave__whiteside, for inspiring this entry.

Not only is Dave one of the kindest and most selfless gentlemen you will ever meet, he is also incredibly intelligent¬†– and that’s without¬†even considering the fact that he is a supporter of¬†Arsenal (@Arsenal) FC!

Ladies, he is what they¬†refer to¬†in the wild as, “le catch”.

So, knowing that I am a big fan of RAP, Dave thought I would get a kick out of a recent Facebook interaction between he and his grandmother.

As most of you know, Facebook has made several changes to their interface over the past few years in an effort to compete with Twitter and its innovations.

This includes integrating the likes of #hashtags and auto-completes, the latter of which leads us into this very blog post.

*     *     *     *     *


Remember when computers + the elderly = the above image on a universal scale?

Facebook has changed all that.. sort of.

While¬†the social network allows¬†for the elderly to live even more vicariously through the profiles¬†of their offspring (and their offspring’s offspring) – thereby increasing the duration of “bingo night” by at least two hours – it still presents enough¬†of a challenge to prevent past generations from stepping out of the Luddite era entirely.

Case in point: these sweet ol’ grandfolk just want to send well wishes to their extended families. But Facebook auto-complete has other plans.

Instead, they occasionally end up sending out dap from Grandmaster Flash (@DJFlash4eva) via proxy:


Dave received a message similar to the one above from his grandmother a.k.a. Grandmaster Flash, a.k.a., the pioneer of the scratch!

But it would appear that Flash has been sending his love out to grandkids worldwide!










Flash is for the children!

Fresh laughs are updated daily so keep checking the “posts to page” section of the Official Grandmaster Flash Facebook Page for more.

Hope some of you got as much of a kick out of this as I did.