#GuelphMusicClub: Top 5 Songs of 2014, Pt. IV

Happy 2015!

I don’t know about the rest of you but my holidays were jam-packed.

Got nowhere near seeing every person I had hoped to…

things there's never any time for: hair washing, studying, getting into Stanford, etc.

Things there’s never any time for: hair washing, studying, getting into Stanford, etc.

Nevertheless, here we are entering the new year and I have yet to wrap up my latest installement for the #GuelphMusicClub.

So, let’s get on with it then!

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How many of you are familiar with New Zealand’s, Kimbra (@kimbramusic)?

Those of you who are were most likely introduced to her as the featured artist on Gotye‘s (@gotye) Record of the Year (2013), “Somebody that I Used to Know“, otherwise known as one of the most irritating songs of all time.

But don’t expect more of the same when it comes to her own material.

The Kiwi has shown a knack for the experimental since the beginnings of her career, pumping out genre-bending compositions that make her a tough artist to pigeonhole.

Dipping her feet into everything from jazz to indie-rock to disco and just about everything in between, her chameleon-like abilities tend to result in projects that avoid establishing any one particular “comfort zone”.

And yet, when it comes to her latest record, the Golden Echo, what else can you refer to it as except for a fucking fantastic pop record?

Kimbra - the Golden Echo (2014)

Kimbrathe Golden Echo (2014)

When you take a look at its all-star cast of songwriting / feature collaborators, Kimbra‘s eclecticism becomes immediately clear and apparent.

The likes of Daniel Johns of Silverchair (@Silverchair) fame, Matt Bellamy of Muse (@muse), Mark Foster of Foster the People (@fosterthepeople), Thundercat (@Thundercat), Bilal (@Bilal), and John Legend (@johnlegend) all receive credit for their contributions.

If you get into the deluxe version, the diversity expands even more so with Jonas Bjerre (@jonas_bjerre) (!) of Mew (@mew), Omar Rodriguez-Lopez (@ORLProductions) of the Mars Volta (@themarsvolta), and Ben Weinman (@dillingerescpln) of the Dillinger Escape Plan all showing up by name in the liner notes.

And though they were left off of the album, she even collabed with Flying Lotus (@flyinglotus) and Dave Longstreth of Dirty Projectors (@DirtyProjectors) during the creation process.

Not to be overlooked, the production quality on this project is bar none.

Overseen by the famed Rich Costey (@RichCostey), the album also contains the fingerprints of top names such as Fraser T Smith (@FraserTSmith), Dave Tozer (@DaveTozer), Matt Morris (@MattMorris), John Hill, and Keefus Ciancia.

She displays an ear-to-the-ground credibility by enlisting Mystery Skulls (@MysterySkulls) as well as (in my opinion) one of the most overlooked producers in rap, M-Phazes (@Mphazes), to handle a portion of the board work.

In spite of the impressive roster, it is Kimbra and her boundless vocal range that shines and subsequently dominates your attention here.

Whether she’s being fun and upbeat or soft and sultry, the huge and often dreamy melodies captivate while you travel through her tumultuous pop journey.

It should also be noted that she herself is credited as a co-writer and co-producer on every track which is doubly impressive considering she is rubbing elbows with a who’s-who of the industry.

A truly unique talent, Kimbra turned me into a big fan of hers in 2014 and I can’t wait to she where will be going next.

My no. 2 song of 2014 is “Miracle“.

Awesome video, too.

Kimbra – “Miracle”
from the album, THE GOLDEN ECHO  (2014)

I’m rising up. Sometimes, I want to get away. And from the moment I met you, I’m ready to fade. I ran into a brighter day.
– Kimbra, “Miracle”

#GuelphMusicClub: Top 5 Songs of 2014, Pts. II & III

Back again with a double edition in order to catch up to the rest of the #GuelphMusicClub.

Please click the hashtag above to see all of the entries to date.

It feels like there are more participants this time around since the previous iteration of THE CLUB and that is so great to see.

Selections have been quite diverse thus far and I’ve already been exposed to a number of great tracks that I wasn’t previously familiar with.

If you happen to be a fan of THE CLUB and would like to contribute, write a post, get a Twitter account, and tweet it out using the #GuelphMusicClub hashtag and you’re all set!

Even if you don’t have a blog of your own, one of us will gladly host your content.

For example, @soundinmymemory (soundinmymemory.com) has been very gracious in that respect.

So get on it!

All of us are hoping to see a lot of fresh faces (usernames?) in the near future!

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YODnasWere you up on the Your Old Droog (@YourOldDroog) conspiracy over the summer?

It was quite a fun ride while it lasted.

For the uninitiated: back in June, an unknown Droog dropped a free EP out of nowhere that sent the internet into a frenzy.

Upon first listen, it immediately becomes apparent why – the dude sounds a helluva lot like Nas (@Nas).

Due to his lack of visual presence, the hype culminated in a fever pitch where people were convinced it actually was Nas rapping under a pseudonym.

Fans felt they were finally getting the Nas they had been fiending for ever since his classic debut, Illmatic, dropped some 20 years prior.

And at the time, the speculation was not only plausible, but pretty damn convincing.

Except that it wasn’t him.

Confirmation of that fact came with his live performance debut at Webster Hall.


Some were disappointed to learn that Droog is, in fact, a white Russian kid from Brooklyn.

Some went on to call him a biter.

But many of us continued bumping his shit as if the entire side show had never happened.

Although the two MCs are very alike in terms of their cadence, I am not of the opinion that this fact should discredit his work.

Action Bronson (@ActionBronson) faced very similar criticisms early on in his career with the Ghostface (@GhostfaceKillah) comparisons and it did nothing to prevent me from naming Dr. Lecter as my favourite record of 2011 because above all, he made great music.

And look at Bronson now.

The dude is thoroughly and indisputably his own entity as we head into 2015 and arguably one of the most original characters in rap.

So let’s see what Droog can do.

Subsequent to releasing the EP, he went on to drop a handful of spare tracks, including collaborations with the likes of Prodigy (@PRODIGYMOBBDEEP), Mac Miller (@MacMiller), Marco Polo (@marcopolobeats), and the Alchemist (@Alchemist).

The EP would have a few of these “loosies” tacked onto it, as well as a couple of remixes, and eventually be repackaged as Your Old Droog‘s official debut LP.

Of those loosies, the one that ends up as my no. 4 song of 2014 is entitled, “On the News (Tamron Hall)“, an ode to the NBC News correspondent who is two decades his senior.

Has a bit of a creepy “Every Breath You Take” vibe over one of the smoothest soul samples you’re likely to hear this year.

#4Your Old Droog – “On the News (Tamron Hall)”
from the album, YOUR OLD DROOG LP  (2014)

Four months clean and the urge to stay sober got me goin’ so berzerk.
– Your Old Droog, “On the News (Tamron Hall)”

And remember the aforementioned Webster Hall show?

Yeah, about that..

:-D :-D :-D

Droog recently dropped his first video for “Nutty Bars” which can be seen below.

Your Old Droog – “Nutty Bars”
from the album, YOUR OLD DROOG LP  (2014)

A good guest and an ill host, these other cats milquetoast, fake Steve Wilkos. Shoulda stuck to doing security, your honor. That’s a cush gig like selling medical marijuana.
Your Old Droog, “Nutty Bars”


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For my no. 3 song of 2014, I look towards the guys who released my favourite rock album of the year.

Although they had been building a steady buzz, Nothing (@BandofNOTHING) underwent a few lineup changes and seemingly came out of nowhere when they released their full-length debut, Guilty of Everything, in the first quarter.

March 4, 2014

March 4, 2014

It certainly blew its predecessor, Downward Years to Come, out of the water.

Equal parts space rock, shoegaze, and grunge, it also becomes apparent that the members have a background in heavy music, with a pummeling rhythm section that is quite often thunderous in its ferocity.

Although GOE is without a doubt their most complete work to date, I think their best songs may have been written for their recently released split with best buds, Whirr (@WhirrBand).

Whirr guitarist, Nick Bassett, actually joined up to play bass with Nothing early this year and now pulls double duty in both bands.

While both acts are great, Nothing seems to have the greater potential of the two, as they have managed to add a degree of accessibility to a genre like shoegaze, one that is often too noisy and niche for the average music consumer.

Prior to forming the band, leader Dominic Palermo had served two years in prison for aggravated assault and attempted murder.

And you can hear the despair, isolation, and pleas for redemption throughout their catalogue.

It’s apparent that Nothing is a very cathartic project for Palermo and that likely adds another layer of intrigue onto their compositions.

They’re my favourite new band that I’ve come across in a good few years and I hope you dig them too.

My no. 3 song of 2014 is Nothing‘s “Chloroform“.

#3Nothing – “Chloroform”
from the split release, WHIRR/NOTHING  (2014)

Locked in chains under the floor. Cover my lips. Chloroform. Duct taped eyes, fear no more. It’s over now.
Nothing, “Chloroform”


As a bonus, I have to add the video for “Bent Nail” off of Guilty of Everything, simply because its one of the best videos I’ve ever seen and it features a shit-hot Kurt Vile (@therealkurtvile) cameo.

Nothing – “Bent Nail”
from the album, GUILTY OF EVERYTHING  (2014)

If you feel like letting go.
Nothing, “Bent Nail”

Obviously, the song just kicks ass as well.
As does all of their shit.


#GuelphMusicClub: Top 5 Songs of 2014, Pt. I


Oh, hey!

#GuelphMusicClub has a pulse!

It has been a favourite of mine since its creation and I welcome its return.

There appear to be some new names involved since the last go-round and that’s great to see as well!

Click the hashtag above to see the first round of contributions pertaining to our latest topic – the top 5 songs of 2014.

Shout to @MatCalverley for reviving the group.

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Now, I think the parameters for the #GuelphMusicClub‘s take on this topic have been expanded to allow for songs that have been personally discovered within the calendar year of 2014.

For myself, though, I felt there were enough AMAZING tracks from this year that choosing five would be a breeze.

Let me tell you, my no. 5 pick is no exception.




Please note that when I say amazing, I am speaking in the broadest sense of the word here.

But make no mistake – the song I have chosen is fucking spectacular.

Bask in the beautiful absurdity that is Stitches (@StitchesTMI)!

#5Stitches – “Brick in Yo Face”
from the mixtape, NO SNITCHING IS MY STATEMENT  (2014)

I got an AK-47 on my face, ho. So you know I don’t shoot no piss toe. – Stitches, “Brick in Yo Face”

A cold ass beat.

Some dude lookin’ like the result of the Joker banging a juggalo.

And the soulless glorification of cocaine.

All the ingredients for a hit viral smash!

This is the definition of your internet-age one-hit-wonder.

Although, to be fair, this song was equally entertaining, if you ask me:

Stitches – “Mail”
from the mixtape, NO SNITCHING IS MY STATEMENT  (2014)

I send it. You receive it. – Stitches, “Mail”

This one shows the more vulnerable side of Stitches.

The introspective drug dealer, if you will.

The one who has your girl on his pole.

Coke rap has been around for a minute but this guy is a straight up cartoon.

I feel like he may even be a pioneer of sorts.

Like, I imagine this corny yt record exec watching “Brick in Yo Face” and thinking about how he needs to repackage it for the streets.

And then coming up with this:

O.T. Genasis – “CoCo”
from the single, CoCo  (2014)

Baking soda! I got baking soda!!O.T. Genasis, “CoCo”

And without this incredibly timeless piece of art from O.T. Genasis (@otgenasis), we never would have been blessed with this unforgettable Busta Rhymes (@BustaRhymes) moment:



So thanks for everything, Stitches.

Thanks for being you.



And thanks for being my number five of 2014.


14/15 Fantasy Premier League: Week 8 Recap


I do apologize for the late update.

This past week has been a fantasy hell.

Remember when I mentioned that I hadn’t received my two championship trophies from last year’s Yahoo! Premiership fantasy season?

It appears a representative grew tired of my repeated requests for resolution and decided to lock my 15-year old account.


I’ve been trying to sort this out since last Friday and the closest I’ve come to an explanation is that my account was locked due to an old inactive Yahoo! chat ID that contained inappropriate language.

Pretty ridiculous as my primary ID is the one I had been using exclusively for the past 10+ years and it was a lame reference to System of a Down (@systemofadown).


Anyway, needless to say, I am very upset to have one of my fantasy seasons ending prematurely in a game I have had fun documenting over the past couple of years.

I am still in touch with Yahoo! but the previous representative told me they were unable to locate my league despite giving them the correct league ID# and password.

Holding out hope but my hopes are slim.

Some arbitrary bullshit.

Leaves a bad taste in the mouth when you get burned by a platform you’ve been championing for years.

Regardless, the series will continue with posts pertaining to my official team.

If I manage to get my team back in the Y! game, I will likely resume posting recaps for that format as well, even though my season has been effectively ruined.

But until then, my apologies to those of you who were following along with me.

Not only was it a tough week due to fantasy issues but Arsenal (@Arsenal) put up some forgettable performances.

They scored a last minute equaliser versus Hull (@hullfcofficial) to scrape away with a point and had no business taking the three points from Anderlecht (@rscanderlecht).

It felt as if Alexis Sánchez (@Alexis_Sanchez) won that game for us on his own.

Oh, by the way, 2-3 months is our new holy grail.

As in, that’s how long David Ospina (@D_Ospina1) has been ruled out through injury.

And in case you forgot that water is wet, Abou Diaby (@AbouVDIABY) is hurt again.

Poor fucker.

F.U. Shad Forsythe aka the saboteur.

This was just a brutal week and my feelings are still hurt over the Yahoo! thing so let’s keep it movin’.

*     *     *     *     *



Overall Points: 435

Global: 127,700 (Last week: 174,448)
Fans of Arsenal: 5,646 (Last week: 6,894)
Canada: 1,226 (Last week: 1,723)

Private League I: 3/9 (48 points out of 1st)
Private League II: 2/13 (7 points out of 1st)
Private League III: 1/3 (86 points clear)

*     *     *     *     *



Total Points: ???

Global: ???
Fans of Arsenal: ???

Private League I: ???


*     *     *     *     *

Damn, that makes me sad.

Anyway, you can see that I was forced to play my wildcard in the official format as I had 5 inactive players either through injury or suspension.

Made out pretty well considering I missed out on Agüero‘s (@aguerosergiokun) 4-goal performance.

But it was Dusan Tadic and his 1-goal / 3-assist who I was most upset to have lost out on.

It’s a shame that you can only add a maximum of three players from each club but it adds to the strategy.

I felt that Bertrand (@ryanbertrand3) and Forster (@FraserForster) needed to be added to my squad for gameweek 8 and beyond.

And I had no intention of dropping Graziano Pellè (@GPelle19).

Make no mistake, though – Tadic has season keeper potential.

And I fear for the out-of-form Arsenal as they travel to the Stadium of Light.

Last week, Southampton (@SouthamptonFC) polished off Sunderland (@SAFCofficial) with an 8-nil drubbing and the Black Cats are sure to be full of piss and vinegar.


How did you make out in Gameweek 8???

14/15 Fantasy Premier League: Week 7 Recap


.. and the Arsenal (@Arsenal) woes continue to pile up.

It is amazing how so much can happen in the span of a week.

First off, the Chelsea (@chelseafc) match.

Yet again, Wenger was unable to get the best of his arch-nemesis, Mourinho.

Chelsea won the match 2-0 and it was a confrontational affair.

The sparks began to fly after this vicious Gary Cahill (@GaryJCahill) tackle on Alexis Sánchez (@Alexis_Sanchez):

Certainly worthy of a sending off but Martin Atkinson didn’t see it that way and only issued a yellow.

This threw Wenger into a rage which led to a scuffle with Mourinho as the former approached the latter’s technical area:

By the end of the match, each manager estimated the other side was lucky not to have finished with eight men.

While it’s true that an overall lack of discipline defined this match, it would have altered the game dramatically had Chelsea gone down to 10 men after only having played about 20 minutes of football by that point.

Nevertheless, it was always going to be a tough fixture and now, unfortunately, it is one that has left Chelsea as the only unbeaten team remaining in the Premier League (@premierleague) this season.

How nice did Cesc Fàbregas (@cesc4official) look on that assist to Diego Costa?

Hindsight is always 20/20 but regardless of depth, passing on an exclusive world-class player transfer for less than £30M is rarely good business.

Looking at his relative ease in re-acclimating to the BPL, there is no question that we should have exercised the buy-back clause.

But it’s an even tougher pill to swallow now that Özil (@MesutOzil1088) is confirmed to be out until 2015 with torn ligaments in his knee.

Blame it on the Touch of Satan?

Blame it on the Touch of Satan?

The most disturbing part of this story is knowing that the injury was only detected due to Özil leaving for international duty.

The German National team doctors discover a severe injury and have to inform the medical staff of the player’s parent club about it?

That is some disgraceful, backwards-ass shit.

But wait, it gets worse!

The French Football Federation has also sent Laurent Koscielny back to Arsenal because he is suffering from acute tendinitis in both achilles tendons.

WTF??? These players were allowed to leave for internationals?

Look, if you want to talk overrated Americans, leave Jozy Atildore (@JozyAltidore) alone.

Let’s talk Shad Forsythe.



Let’s face it, the injury bug became an epidemic at Arsenal long before Shad‘s arrival but this year is about as bad as it’s ever been.

The training staff and facilities were supposed to be a summer priority and it appears we may actually be working in reverse.

Again, Shad just got here, so by no means am I blaming him for the image below but it truly is something that has to be seen to be believed:

A comprehensive list of Arsenal injuries over the past 10 years or so

A comprehensive list of Arsenal injuries over the past 10 years or so

And if you weren’t having enough fun with that image, why not check out the complete injury list (in text form) dating from August 2002 to present.

Is that unbelievable or what!?

Perhaps, it’s time Arsenal looked into borrowing some steroids from Real Madrid (@realmadrid).

Bale: First Blood

Bale: First Blood

Anyway, as previously mentioned, players have been sent out for national duties which means no Premier League action this weekend.

The timing works as I have some decisions to make regarding my fantasy squads.

Speaking of which..

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Overall Points: 369

Global: 174,448 (Last week: 147,155)
Fans of Arsenal: 6,894 (Last week: 6,751)
Canada: 1,723 (Last week: 1,422)

Private League I: 3/9 (16 points out of 1st)
Private League II: 4/13 (24 points out of 1st)
Private League III: 1/3 (65 points clear)

*     *     *     *     *



Total Points: 702

Global: ???
Fans of Arsenal: ???


Private League I: 2 / 6 (5 points out of 1st)

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I had planned to use my wildcard in week 7 of the official game but decided against it when I realized I could swap out the injured Aaron Ramsey (@aaronramsey) for Raheem Sterling (@sterling31) at the same price point.

However, I feel it will be impossible not to activate it this week: Calum Chambers (@CalumChambers95) is suspended having (already!) picked up his 5th yellow, James Ward-Prowse (@Prowsey16) and Yaya Sanogo (@Yayasanogoal22) are still ruled out through injury, and Dejan Lovren (@DejanLovrenLFC6) is returning from Croatia with a “torn abdominal wall”.

I’m mostly satisfied with my strikers and midfield in the official game but my fullback and keeper situations are getting worrisome.

As far as the Yahoo! game goes, it’s still driving me bonkers that there is no words on the reintroduction of global rankings AND I AM STILL WAITING ON MY TWO CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHIES FROM LAST SEASON.

And for your information, their customer support and engineering team are useless tits.


In Yahoo!, I thought I was being clever by moving Thibaut Courtois (@thibautcourtois) to the bench in order to bring in Kasper Schmeichel (@kschmeichel1).

Except that Courtois finished with more fantasy points despite leaving the match after 10 minutes due to a head injury.


At least I reclaimed my 100-point-a-week average.. for now.

How did you make out in Gameweek 7???

14/15 Fantasy Premier League: Week 6 Recap


Another tumultuous week for the Arsenal (@Arsenal).

The latest installment of the North London derby ended in a 1-1 stalemate.

After a goalless first half, Tottenham (@SpursOfficial) took advantage of some sloppy Arsenal defense to open the scoring about 10 minutes into the second.

Thankfully, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (@Alex_OxChambo) was able to equalize roughly 20 minutes later in order to salvage the point.

Curiously, the Ox started ahead of new signing, Alexis Sánchez (@Alexis_Sanchez).

With Alexis now having not made the starting XI for two consecutive Premier League (@premierleague) starts, word is emerging that he has been dropped by Wenger for disrupting Arsenal’s style.

While I would say it’s true that Alexis likes to hug the ball a bit more than the average Gunner, I’m not sure it’s fair to say he slows down the team as his pace can be electric.

If anything, he seems to have an advanced ability to draw players away from their markers in order to free up the pass.

But I digress.

The Danny Welbeck buy may have allowed Wenger to avoid forcing Alexis to play through the middle but there is no reason to assume that the second-highest player purchase in club history is in danger of becoming the next Podolski (@Podolski10).

The derby also came with a dark side.

Wenger was forced to use two of his three substitutions before the half with both Mikel Arteta (@m8arteta) and Aaron Ramsey (@aaronramsey) leaving through injury.

The manager found the knocks to be curious given that both players were rested during the Capital One Cup (@CapitalOne_Cup).

Remember when Shad Forsythe was supposed to be our signing of the summer?

I know us Gooners are supposed to be familiar with extended layoffs due to injury – even expecting them at times – but this season began with an outright crisis and it hasn’t seemed to let up yet.

The boss did, however, have some positive news for us today in regards to injuries:

I look forward to seeing what Theo Walcott (@theowalcott) can add to the side.

Serge Gnabry (@SergeGnabry) continues to be one of our more exciting young players.

Nevertheless, the focus now becomes Galatasaray (@GalatasaraySK) in tomorrow’s Champions League (@ChampionsLeague) fixture.

We need a top quality display after taking that drubbing from Borussia Dortmund (@BVB) to open up the group stage.


Onto the fantasy we go.

*     *     *     *     *



Overall Points: 314

Global: 147,155 (Last week: 237,170)
Fans of Arsenal: 6,751 (Last week: 11,725)
Canada: 1,422 (Last week: 2,278)

Private League I: 3/9 (5 points out of 1st)
Private League II: 2/13 (5 points out of 1st)
Private League III: 1/3 (58 points clear)

*     *     *     *     *



Total Points: 589

Global: ???
Fans of Arsenal: ???


Private League I: 2 / 6 (16 points out of 1st)

*     *     *     *     *

I have to thank Asmir Begovic (@asmir1) and Ryan Shawcross as the Stoke (@stokecity) clean sheet was what helped me to finish with an above-average week in the official game.

With RamseyJames Ward-Prowse (@Prowsey16), and Yaya Sanogo (@Yayasanogoal22) all sidelined for significant periods, I’ll be tempted to use my wildcard prior to gameweek 7.

I was really hoping to hold onto the WC as long as possible this year but sometimes circumstances dictate the situation.

It’s still possible to play a full squad and keep my bench filled with all three injured options but I can’t afford to lose any ground at this early point in the season.

Decisions, decisions.

The Yahoo! game seems to be getting more difficult for me with each week.

The problem being that I have some marquee players being held at some serious cut-rate prices.. so making any significant changes to the squad has turned into a pretty serious quandary.

Now that his place in the XI may be temporarily jeopardized, do I drop Alexis Sánchez despite holding him at less than £5m?

I already know who I’ll be swapping Ramsey out for during his absence so I suppose not all is lost.

How about you? How are your teams looking through the first month and a half?

How did you make out in Gameweek 6???

14/15 Fantasy Premier League: Week 5 Recap

He's back.

He’s back.

That’s more like it.

After a poor week of football, Arsenal (@Arsenal) got back on track with a dominant 0-3 victory at Villa Park.

Answering his critics, Mesut Özil (@MesutOzil1088) arrived on the pitch with what was arguably his best performance of the calendar year.

This is the type of performance that Gooners regularly expect of their £42M man and he will hopefully continue to be deployed in his preferred position through the middle.

Although chances were going each way, Arsenal looked shaky to start, failing to hit the target from several choice opportunities.

It took a massive save from Wojciech Szczęsny (@13Szczesny13) on a Ciaran Clark (@C_Clark_6) header from close range to awaken the visiting side.

Shortly thereafter, the Gunners would net three goals in just a little over three minutes time.

Özil and new arrival Danny Welbeck each scored their first goals of the season while also assisting on each other’s markers.

An own goal from Aly Cissokho would seal the scoreline.

It was a great weekend of football in terms of results.

The quality was even better.

Liverpool (@LFC), Everton (@Everton), Tottenham (@SpursOfficial), and Manchester United (@ManUtd) each completed their fixtures without earning a point while Frank Lampard put away a late Man City (@MCFC) equaliser against his former side Chelsea (@chelseafc) for a storybook finish at the Etihad.

The United match against Leicester City (@OfficialFOXES) may be the game of the season thus far as the scrappy affair saw the Foxes claim a 5-3 victory after trailing 1-3 at the half.

o fux.

o fux.

In any case, it was just about a perfect weekend for those of you who understand that LONDON IS RED.



It’s fantasy time, baby.

*     *     *     *     *



Overall Points: 266

Global: 237,170 (Last week: 130,436)
Fans of Arsenal: 11,725 (Last week: 6,158)
Canada: 2,278 (Last week: 1,236)

Private League I: 3/9 (8 points out of 1st)
Private League II: 5/13 (10 points out of 1st)
Private League III: 1/3 (47 points clear)

*     *     *     *     *



Total Points: 498

Global: ???
Fans of Arsenal: ???

Private League I: 2 / 6 (2 points out of 1st)

*     *     *     *     *

Two season firsts for me this weekend:

  1. Finished below 50 gameweek points for the first time in the official game.
  2. Finished below 100 gameweek points for the first time in the Yahoo! game.
* Upon further inspection, I had forgotten that I finished week 1 in Yahoo! with 88 pts. Apologies.

Whenever I have an above-average weekend in fantasy, Murphy starts bashing me over the head with his rule of law and I typically come back down to Earth after the next set of fixtures.

It is always disappointing but I think a lot of managers struggled given the lackluster performances from the majority of the top teams.

In the Yahoo! game, investing in Spurs players definitely backfired on me.

Thankfully, Thibaut Courtois (@thibautcourtois) didn’t have his best game so I was able to swap him back in with little change to the discount I was originally holding him at.

Alexis Sánchez (@Alexis_Sanchez) was removed from the Arsenal XI at the last minute which brought in Martin Kelly (@MartinKelly1990) as my fantasy auto-sub. He did me well by putting up an assist as well as some much-needed phantom points.

I am averaging a touch less than 100pts/week in the Yahoo! game which is currently good enough to place me within the 99th percentile.

Oh, one more thing about Yahoo! and their incompetence: aside from the fact that I am STILL WAITING ON MY PREMIERSHIP TROPHIES FROM LAST SEASON, now they somehow managed to auto-opt me into their La Liga fantasy game.

First of all, I don’t watch La Liga so this wasn’t some accident on my part – I only noticed it by checking to see if my trophies from last year had arrived!

I contacted their support and as usual, they spit out some variation of the same answer: “Our engineers are aware of the problem and are working to fix it. There is no timeline for resolution”.

Fucking bullshit.

Despite having zero players in this fake XI that I am only associated with by name, I somehow sit in the 57th overall percentile.

This leads me to believe I am not the only one who started playing this game without realizing it.


The official game was a bit of a disaster.

31 points is a pathetic tally for the week.

I knew captaining Diego Costa was a slight risk but I was unable to foresee a suitable alternative.

It sort of feels like he will be this year’s Luis Suárez (@LuisSuarez9) in that he will always make you worry about what you could be missing out on if you don’t captain him.

I definitely would not have considering giving the armband to a defensive player but my backline is where the majority of my points came from.

In fact, I left Jose Fonte on the bench and it is always a piss off to miss out on clean sheets, not to mention bonus points.

For the most part, my decisions have been sound so I can’t be too hard on myself. But the bench sure does complicate things.

I decided not to use a free transfer in gameweek 5 and perhaps that came back to bite me a little.

However, Coutinho (@Phil_Coutinho) has been rotting in my squad for weeks now and with two FTs saved up, I was finally able to rid myself of him before he loses even more of his value.

I really wanted (needed) to get Ángel Di María into my side but I had to sell Wayne Rooney (@WayneRooney) to free up the funds in order to do so.

So after upgrading my midfield, I replaced Wazza up top with Graziano Pellè (@GPelle19) who will hopefully continue with his devastating form.

The transfers left me with £1.9M in the bank which will be dedicated towards upgrading Yaya Sanogo (@Yayasanogoal22) as soon as possible.

What I originally thought would be a shrewd bench addition is looking to be increasingly irrelevant – at this point, with Welbeck in, Theo Walcott (@theowalcott) on the verge of returning, and Olivier Giroud (@_OlivierGiroud_) due back in the new year, I’m not sure we will even see Sanogo coming back into the squad this season.

The always affable Lukas Podolski (@Podolski10) is hoping to fight his way back into the XI.

And don’t forget, Joel Campbell (@joel_campbell12) waits in the wings.

Anyway, there is your early glimpse into my official team for gameweek 6.

Before signing off, surely many of you have heard about how Gervinho (@GervinhOfficial) is bossing it up in Roma (@OfficialASRoma) since leaving the Arsenal.

While I respect him for avoiding the Rooney highway to hairplugs, I do hope he never removes the headband again. Like, ever.


Jesus Christ.

I can say without hesitation that I would have a very difficult time coping with massive hair loss.

But I’m not tryna look like Devin Townsend (@dvntownsend), either.


Gervinho’s lost brother in metal

Shave it, bro.

PS. The 2022 World Cup WILL NOT be Held in Qatar. This is good news for everyone.

How did you make out in Gameweek 5???